I have been encouraged by your insights on those late blooming boys and helped by your excellent practical suggestions. Would you please comment on the impulsivity that seems to be a part of the package with these little guys? My greatest challenges with my late bloomer have been in discerning immaturity vs. things rooted in sin. I’m thinking of trouble following directions, getting lost in the middle of a longer task, and impulsivity. Karen
I think the secret to this is in the diagnosis. The earlier you can spot the problem and work on a remedy the better. We have one child who was like this, and we didn’t really catch on to it till rather late. And then it certainly doesn’t help that Harvey and I approach the problem differently. I tend to take a more hard-line approach about unfinished chores, while Harvey would simply remind him to do it.
We need to find out where their weaknesses lie and then train to those weaknesses. They don’t stop and think, so we need to somehow devise a signal to communicate to them to help them stop and think before acting (which necessitates Mother keeping one step ahead of the impulsive one). They put off doing what you ask them to do and then in a short while forget that you even asked them, so we need to make sure they know that they will do what you ask immediately, no questions. They have trouble following directions, so we avoid giving them multi-step directions till they are more mature.
All this takes patience, perseverance, and energy. Lots of energy. And if a mother has more than one child like this, it can get wearying. But I guess this is how the Lord teaches us patience and perseverance. Do we think He is going to give us patience and perseverance on a golden platter? It is in the process of being forced to exhibit patience and perseverance that we learn to be truly patient and to truly persevere.
The alternative is to wrap them up in duct tape and put ’em in a closet for a few days.