Is it necessary for my child to do all his schoolwork on his own? I sit on the couch with my 10-year-old son and help him with the introduction to his assignments. For example, with his math lessons, I go through the lesson with him (takes us five minutes), and then I’m off and he continues totally on his own. We do basically the same thing for all of his subjects. Today, I told him that at some time he must begin to do his own “intro” work. Just after I mentioned it to him — he didn’t say anything — big teardrops fell one by one on his papers. How does one do the weaning? Sonja

Your child apparently likes having you help him begin. Let him know you love doing the introductory work with him, and continue doing it. He does not want to be left totally on his own, and these minutes of introductory work may be providing a measure of accountability which he feels he needs. Don’t “baby” him, but don’t abandon him either. Tell him that it is to his best interests to learn to do his own introductory work. Help him through the transition. Soon this will all change, and he won’t need your help — indeed, he may even resent it if you tried. By the time he’s twelve or thirteen, he probably won’t need you any more. I would give my right arm to have my boys want me to sit next to them for my help. Enjoy it while you can.

unnamed (3)


  1. Hélène

    Enjoy It While You Can
    words of wisdom, tired and bored mommas
    children grow up at least 3x faster than we need. you cant see this till you’re alone with no more children at home 🙂

  2. Karleen

    Tell this Mom that she is doing a great job! Her son is *only* 10. Boys mature a little later than girls, and actually *do* need more help. Plus, children like and need a routine and don’t like ‘change.’ Perhaps pick an easy-intro subject for one day, have him read it to you. Or maybe you have to hop up real quick to put something back in the fridge, etc. and have him read it out loud to you. I have 4 children, daughter 25, sons 21, 19, 13. And yes, very soon, that son will *not* want your help, even if he may need it sometimes! That’s where my 13 year old son is now!


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *