Helping or Enabling? by Ingrid Schlueter

by | Homeschooling, Marriage, Raising Children | 2 comments

“…Enablers are the people within families who perpetually facilitate the destructive and toxic behavior of the one I call the Destroyer….Without the assistance of enablers, toxic individuals within families are isolated. Toxic individuals grow worse when their egos are sustained and filled by those willing to serve as human air compressors. This may be a spouse, but it can also be adult children who are trained that the toxic family member’s ego is the most important thing within the home. Inflate the ego, or pay the price. The lesson is learned early and the twisted dance begins. Add a spiritual element to the choreography and the dance gets even more macabre.” Read the rest of the article here.



  1. Tori

    This message is the best one I have read that relates to what I have been experiencing. I have taken my stand but this message only strengthens me. This was a great find, thank you for sharing it.

  2. helene

    another word for toxic individual is SELF-ABSORBED, self-centered, self-occupied, selfish. your article of about a yr ago is EXCELLENT for an epiphany on this pathological personality and the (very little) you can do about it or for him or her.
    i have personal experience interacting with a good-sized family headed by a self-absorbed father, over several decades. several of the adult kids have severe issues, one is just like the father–hey it worked for him, rite?


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